Saturday and Sunday were hard for me: depression and frustration. In the ‘old’ days, I would have been flat-out miserable. These days, however, I am able to tolerate the ‘down’ feelings without believing it to be torture. There are two good movements that support the idea that depressed moods don’t have to be hateful: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and Tom Wootton’s Bipolar Advantage. I suggest checking out both. They helped me sit with my depression and experience it without judgement. I found that there is physical pain, especially in my chest/heart area, but also throughout my whole body. There is a sense of melancholy, and it is difficult to feel excited about anything. However, I also feel a kind of ‘wisdom,’ a way of seeing the world that transcends ordinary values. If you can learn to be OK with depression, then you are freer than before. You can see how so much of what people run away from (and sometimes spend their whole lives avoiding) can actually be growth-enhancing.

So I got through those rough days. So far today feels lighter, but it is not even 7 am in California yet, so there is still plenty of time for that to change. Either way, however, I will be fine.

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