This post you’ve commented on was written so long ago! I wasn’t even to the point of putting photos with the essays. Thank you for looking so closely at my work.
As for ‘personality disorders’: I truly dislike the term. Borderline Personality Disorder is now called Emotional Dysregulation Syndrome by up-to-date practitioners. They changed the name because BPD had become widely known as a pejorative: it implied a difficult patient who was hostile and manipulative. I’ve been given PD diagnoses myself, but usually only by therapists who had become frustrated with me; others have disagreed. In many cases the behaviors that get labelled with PDs are the result of major childhood neglect, abuse, or trauma. Since childhood lessons of danger and unworthiness can be unlearnt, at least to some extent, the PD can be improved. Mindfulness can be very helpful for gaining skills in emotional control.
As I’ve practiced more meditation, acceptance (of myself and my circumstances), and forgiveness (of myself and others), I’ve gradually lost many of the behaviors that once tempted therapists to label me with a PD. This disproves the whole notion: the initial idea of a PD was that it represented a fixture in a person’s makeup. It couldn’t be substantively changed, anymore than one’s baseline personality could be changed. But the brain is amazingly malleable. You can learn new ways of being.
In short: look at the PD diagnosis as provisional; it shows you something about yourself that was no doubt hard to see. But now that you have the understanding, you can change. I don’t know what PD they stamped you with, but look for Marsha Linehan’s work on (what used to be called) Borderline PD for an enlightened stance that can help you see ways to change.
Best wishes.
–Will

One of the most life-changing of the therapies that I have had was a day treatment program at a local hospital. It involved treatment full-time 5 days a week for 4 months. To say that it was intense would be an understatement of massive proportions. It helped me to start examining my childhood in a more critical light. it helped me to accept that my problems had been pervasive through-out my life even though they had not previously been labelled as mental health issues. It helped me to recognize some of the rigidity in my attitudes and beliefs. During this therapy I came to recognize that I experience anger (prior to that I was convinced that I didn’t.) It helped me to start learning both the importance of and some methods for the expression of emotion. It helped me to look critically at my marriage and recognize that not everything was perfect. The list goes on.

But it also convinced me that I have personality disorders. The technical definitions of these disorders fit my history very well. In the last four years, I have been drifting closer and closer to being housebound. At this point, I leave my house to see my psychiatrist and my doctor. Other than that, I rarely venture out. I have been aware of this trend for quite some time and have wondered what sparked it. Recently, I have been discovering how difficult it is for me to believe that another person might truly enjoy my company. I am starting to wonder whether that day treatment program might have reinforced beliefs that I am an intrinsically damaged person whose presence is actively distasteful. I am starting to wonder whether that is why I’ve been staying home so much.