drjekyll

Well, it’s out. I whined a few posts back about how catastrophically awful I felt this taping had gone. As often is the case with me, things do not look as bad as all that. I’m actually satisfied enough with the outcome that I am putting out a link to the show, in the event you want to watch. It includes an interesting discussion about what it means to live successfully with bipolar conditions. Do we fight like hell to avoid all symptoms of mania and depression? Or can we learn to tolerate our wide ranging emotions (or could we even consider them ‘gifts’?). My little bit comes near the end. Up until that point, I just sit motionless. Like a houseplant. But once I get talking you can actually see that I am a living human being. I am so habitually constrained in my emotional expression, that as the taping was in progress, the little animation I display made me feel like I was losing it emotionally. Too passionate. Too voluble. Too much. Now I see that I look pretty normal, or possibly a bit flat in my affect. It’s a good lesson for me: maybe I could let out a lot more feeling without coming across as out-of-control, or melodramatic.