Photo of tree and bruised sky.Five days ago I quit Cymbalta. Because of some its side effects, periodically I stop it for two days. This time It ended up being three, and after that I just could not bring myself to restart it. Today, day five, passed with little problem. I feel a bit nauseous, kinda sweaty, and I am not sleeping well at all. I have a familiar aching dread in my chest, and a sinking feeling in my gut, as I always get with depression. But I am not depressed. My body feels all the awful stuff, but my mind is staying pretty upbeat, or at least neutral. I am prepared for a rough few weeks coming up. Don’t be surprised if I give up and start the drug again. Somehow, however, I think this might work. My attitude has shifted. That last post really cemented my developing philosophy of accepting and even savoring my ‘negative’ moods. So they don’t scare me as much. So I can tolerate the feelings better. So maybe I’ll succeed.

Wish me luck. I’ll probably need it.

I am keeping this post short. The last one consumed time and, more to the point, energy. I have needed to recharge. Plus, I imagine my readership, to the extent I have one, gets tired of the long and confusing essays. They don’t say much about me after all. This little post is to just keep the habit up, to say hello to all, and maybe open up a little more. Not that I have fear of letting others know me, but my natural tendency is to think and write about my thinking, rather than feel, and write about emotions.

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