Excellent points. I saw the book by May advertised on Amazon (when I Googled ‘willspirit’ to see what came up,) but have not read it. Thanks for the quote. I should investigate more.

Yes, the ‘Will’ part of WillSpirit is a play on my first name, but it also has to do with will in all its meanings. I discussed how I came up with the site’s name on one of my webpages: Why WillSpirit? What you’ve sent expands my view of the name’s meanings.

I have worked with both DBT and ACT, and as you point out, they are similar in many ways. Each helps people who have trouble with emotional overload. I believe my current therapist is drawing from both. I have read a little about DBT, and more about ACT. Your comment makes me realize I should investigate more, so I can be more clear on where they differ. On the most superficial level, I would say DBT seems more structured and directive, and perhaps more focused on behavioral management. ACT seems to teach more philosophy and fewer methods. But I am really stretching the limits of my understanding to even say this much.

I do try to keep inserting the disclaimer that the approaches I describe come from the work of professional mental health workers. Those ‘others’ are worlds more sophisticated in their understanding. All I try to do is take the pearls that help me the most, and build essays around them. I hope that from time to time some original ideas find their way into my writing, but without knowing the literature better there is a good chance that even when I think a concept is mine alone, someone else has already come up with it. That’s OK with me. My goal is to write things that will help others, and I only ‘own’ the language and (most of) the metaphors I use. It thrills and fulfills me when my writing gets complimented–that’s what makes me think I’ve done my job. I am not qualified to come up with radically new approaches. I am just trying to lend an additional voice to anything out there that works.

We are all climbing out of Hell. I like the metaphor of the ladder which is hot and uncomfortable, but not as bad as what we’re escaping. I find such imagery very helpful in my own struggle for sanity, which is of course why I write the way I do. One observation I might hazard is that I doubt you are truly helpless. You seem to have a solid grasp of the concepts, a good therapist, and powerful motivation. Those are all valuable tools, and you can take credit for gathering them all together.

I’m very glad to hear from you.

–Will

“Willingness implies a surrendering of one’s self-separateness, an entering into, an immersion in the deepest processes of life itself. It is a realization that one already is a part of some ultimate cosmic process and it is a commitment to participation in that process. In contrast, willfulness is the setting of oneself apart from the fundamental essence of life in an attempt to master, direct, control, or otherwise manipulate existence. More simply, willingness is saying yes to the mystery of being alive in each moment. Willfulness is saying no, or perhaps more commonly, ‘yes, but …’

“But willingness and willfulness do not apply to specific things or situations. They reflect instead the underlying attitude one has toward the wonder of life itself. Willingness notices this wonder and bows in some kind of reverence to it. Willfulness forgets it, ignores it, or at its worst, actively tries to destroy it. Thus willingness can sometimes seem very active and assertive, even aggressive. And willfulness can appear in the guise of passivity. Political revolution is a good example” (May, 1982, 6).

I cannot claim that I have similar experiences as yours, but I’m also “willfully” rejecting and denying life by constructing my own version of cognitive universe in place of reality. While this dichomtomous universe seems safe to me due to its familiarity, living in this hell is going to make things worse; my only option is to change my life. Sure, I can say that I’m a victim of a mental illness; however, I’m still the one who’ve been constructing this disordered cognitive world, and I’m the one who has to take the responsibility to dissemble it. One can say that it’s easier to dissemble something than to assemble it, but it’s still a difficult task, and I’m helpless about it.

Your metaphor reminds me of the one my tdoc gave me… He said, therapy is like climbing up from a well (downward to hell) on a red-hot aluminum ladder, without gloves or shoes. Jumping off or letting go the ladder is my therapy-interfering behaviour; holding a blowtorch on my feet to make me climb faster is my tdoc’s therapy-interfering behaviour. The problem is that the bottom of hell is hotter even than the ladder; so, after a while, I have to get back up, and climb again.

These ideas are not mine either. They are from DBT, which I believe you know, is very similar to ACT.
___

May, G. (1982). Will and Spirit. San Francisco: Harper & Row.

Thanks for the compliment on a post I wish were better. I am traveling at the moment, but when I get to a place where I can write for a while, I want to follow that post with something less abstract, and more connected with my life. Maybe I can make the point better that way. But I’m glad you were able to get the point despite my limitations. I should stress that the ideas, most of them, come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I try to put my own spin on them, but I don’t claim to have thought this up on my own. I so appreciate that you follow my blog.

–Will