
Those visitors who expressed reservations about the finality of my spiritual enlightenment had just cause for concern. For two weeks after my supposed awakening, a newfound clarity made life easy and rewarding. Thoughts of helping seemed natural, and I enjoyed abundant energy for my mission of guiding others away from depression. But then reality intruded on my peace. My wife and I live adjacent to San Francisco Bay, very close to sea level. As rainy weather continued for weeks, I began to hate the damp cold. When the sun wasn’t obscured by rain clouds, it shone only dimly through a low shroud of mist, and the shadowy light began to get me down. Unwisely, I discontinued one of my medications after months of slow tapering. Prompted by someone else’s comment, which had little to do with my situation, I became obsessed with futile thoughts of reentering medicine. And then there was the lukewarm (at best) reception of my new ideas about how to alleviate depression; no one in either my day-to-day life or on the internet seemed particularly interested. It turned out to be more than my fragile psyche could bear.
The low feelings were tolerable for about a week. During that time my thinking remained balanced, and I patiently waited for the cycle to play itself out. I endeavored to meditate consistently and stay centered. But finally the downward pressure on my spirits overcame me. Yesterday it took all my strength just to drag myself to the gym for thirty minutes. As used to be routine, I found myself wondering, “what’s the point?” Having sunk to this level frustrated me all the more because I know better. What happened to my insights into the true nature of human life? Where went the new alignment of my priorities? Meditating on the unity and rightness of the cosmos brought only temporary wisdom and peace. By yesterday the depression had progressed into a suicidal realm. I simply could not let go of obsessions about my flawed personality, my lack of productivity, my chronic isolation, and my unpromising future. Self. Self. Self.
It would be nice to say everything feels fine today. I would love to announce that selflessness has returned with the same forceful clarity as before; certainly, I am closer that goal. But it’s an uphill battle. It makes me revisit my old conviction that a chemical imbalance contributes to my unhappiness. Perhaps there are depressed corners in my brain that ego suppression won’t always reach. I resist that conclusion for now, and continue to work on regaining that thrilling and heartfelt understanding of my true nature. I hope to reconnect with my recent, stirring awareness of the transience of my problems, and the importance of altruism. If intention is enough, I will get better. Things do seem a little lighter today.
Of course, today the sun also shines outside my window, and I enjoy a nice view of water, wetlands, and little Mt. Burdell in the distance. That alone helps alleviate the heaviness. (The picture heading this post was taken through my window just now, in late afternoon light.)
It’s a good sign that I’m here writing. For several days there seemed to be little point. Even with my posts occasionally appearing at PsychCentral, there has been scant evidence to suggest that my message is catching on. For several days before today, every session at the computer ended with the thought, “why bother?” I felt overwhelmed by the fact that blogs are inefficient at attracting readers, and the necessity of delivering my message on Facebook instead. That site doesn’t appeal to me, and the idea of aggressively finding ‘friends’ is unpleasant, to say the least. I’ve toyed with abandoning writing on the internet altogether.
But now I’m back. It helps to let go of all attachment to ‘carrying a message’. Soon after my transcendent experiences, it seemed absolutely vital for me to spread the word that depression can be lightened by escaping ego dominance. Today, I can accept that my role may simply be to enjoy the fruits of that truth. I am more able to accept that I may lack the personality, skills and energy needed to educate others. In fact, right now it feels like I’m under a spiritual mandate to experience exactly these limitations, without resistance. It is an important, though painful lesson.
It comes with an interesting twist. I see more than the mere acceptance of failure; I understand the need to keep trying in spite of it.
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1
Margaret at http://YourWebsite
Will,
I am saddened to hear that you are struggling.
Reminders:
–your essays ARE valuable to yourself + others, even if
comments are not provided by readers. I have read
numerous yet have commented on only several. The
value of your words to even one suffering person is
more important than reaching vast numbers of people.
—endogenous depression is real. Sometimes we must
accept that there is no apparent trigger for an episode
—keep doing what you know that you must do! Sleep enough. Eat well. Exercise. Socialize. Fight the Black Monster!
Posted at February 6, 2010 on 6:29pm.
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Will at http://willspirit.com
Margaret–
Thank you for the kind words. If I take the long view, my moods are much healthier than they have been for years. One week of depression with no suicidal ideation, followed by one really low day, followed by what looks like recovery, is a tremendous improvement. The spiritual awareness, and especially the turning away from self absorption, brought help just as I was giving up hope of ever living happily. Six months ago I thought the best realistic outcome would be acceptance of chronic depression. Today, my prospects look much rosier than that bleak view. Evidently the demons will keep knocking. And yes, I suppose some of my suffering comes from endogenous disarray. But overall I am very pleased. Every time I turn away from obsessing about me, and look at the big picture, the light shines.
–Will
Posted at February 6, 2010 on 9:06pm.
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mark p.s.2 at http://YourWebsite
One can not help those who do not seek your help. Psychiatry has not learned this knowledge (in the case of involuntary patients they treat).
Regarding yourself, the thoughts of helping others and finding happiness in that idea shows you are a loving person.
Everyone is on a learning journey of their own, personal to their own selves.
Myself I heard voices of going to work again, but it was really a confrontation with reality I had to face and accept.
IMO, The best one can do is take care of oneself and lead by example. Treat yourself like those you would have helped.
I suggest patience, in the river of time we inevitably find what we seek.
Posted at February 7, 2010 on 5:23am.
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Will at http://willspirit.com
mark p.s.2–
Hopefully you didn’t think I wanted to strap people down and inject them with drugs!
I’m just moved by the pain of those many, many people with severe and/or chronic depression. Plus, I am absolutely convinced that selflessness and ego-suppression can alleviate much of it. Most such people are desperate for answers; if nothing else, I’d like to offer them the positive message that it is possible to overcome a depression of even thirty years standing. I think people are seeking help, but apparently not my help. It seems I either don’t market my ‘product’ sufficiently, or my style is unappealing, or both. I do plan to keep promoting the ideas; I have two local talks lined up, for instance. But I’m doing my best to let go of the outcome. I will make the most of whatever happens. As you suggest, the best way to lead others is by example. Thanks for commenting.
–Will
Posted at February 7, 2010 on 6:46am.
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Lili at http://YourWebsite
I LOVE the SF Bay and hope to be there soon. You are riding the waves of life and managing as best you can. For that alone-give yourself praise and the grace to keep right on allowing yourself to feel, grow, or hibernate as you need to.
Posted at February 7, 2010 on 9:47am.
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Alison Rising at http://alisonrising.blogspot.com
I can relate to what you’re talking about. Even though things are going well for me in my life right now, I am haunted by an almost subconscious depression that if I were to entertain it, would surely escalate into something worse. I keep telling myself to not dwell on it, accept its existence and move on. Because I over-analyze my Self. I’m trying to practice, as you aptly called it, “ego-suppression,” as well. Difficult, but better than succumbing to it.
Posted at February 7, 2010 on 2:20pm.
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Will at http://willspirit.com
Alison–
It would be nice if depression could be conquered once and for all. But apparently it takes ongoing discipline and positive action to keep it at bay. Haunting and subconscious, yes.
–Will
Posted at February 7, 2010 on 9:05pm.
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Andrea at http://YourWebsite
Hello, my friend. Just want to say that we ought never give up. You can never know when, or how, something you may say or do may be invaluable to another human being, especially one who is living with, managing, struggling with the condition that you write about. A ho. Much love. Dragonfly
Posted at February 7, 2010 on 9:06pm.
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Will at http://willspirit.com
Lili–
I find it hard to praise myself because it wasn’t me that saved me. But I suppose I deserve credit for making the effort to both honor and open to Presence. I walked to the door, but something else opened it for me.
–Will
Posted at February 7, 2010 on 9:06pm.
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Will at http://willspirit.com
Andrea–
It means a great deal to me that you dropped by and read my post. Thank you for the encouragement.
–Will
Posted at February 7, 2010 on 9:47pm.
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Lili at http://YourWebsite
You made it to the door and that’s all that matters
I totally understand depression. I’m battling it right this second. Oh and the meds call to me though I know I’ll be walking down a really dark path if I start up again. So have strength.
Hugs
Posted at February 7, 2010 on 10:42pm.
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Emma at http://YourWebsite
Depression has also been my companion for more than 25 years. I have learned much, and am probably managing better now than I have at any other time, BUT your moving account of your latest experience, could also be a description of my last month. This is what I find so difficult to accept even after all this time that the depression will appear without warning and uninvited! Reading your essay helped me realise that I am not alone with this experience, and your insights have helped me to think more deeply about my own interpretations of recent events. Thank you. Please continue to trust yourself and communicate from your heart. You words have reached another soul searching for answers. All good wishes
Posted at February 8, 2010 on 1:51am.
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Larry Drain at http://hopeworkscommunity.wordpress.com
Will- I think what you do is exceptional. I try to consistently read, but am not good at comments. Depression is real and part of our reality is our biology. I know that is not always a fashionable thought. Hang in there. You make a difference. You make good sense. Congratulations on the Psych Central thing. It is so well deserved. Remember what you already know. You are more, much more, than the way you feel. Depression is at its worse when it seduces us into discouragement. Hang tight
Posted at February 8, 2010 on 3:22pm.
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Will at http://willspirit.com
Larry–
Thanks for reading, and for the words of encouragement. I am getting more and more comfortable with my relative obscurity. On the one hand, I am slowly getting more exposure (e.g., PsychCentral); on the other, it doesn’t really matter how many people see the site, as long as a few that do get something out of it. So whether I gain more of an audience or not, it is clear that the writing will be rewarding. Whenever I put pressure on myself to ‘succeed’, the fun goes out of the process; but when I relax and accept, fulfillment returns. It is easier to see this now, because my clarity and awareness have been largely restored. A lot of meditation and some acupuncture brought me back into balance. Recovery from chronic depression is an interesting road, and one that repeatedly teaches me to lower my expectations and increase my acceptance.
–Will
Posted at February 8, 2010 on 5:24pm.
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jss at http://jssfive.blogspot.com
There are a lot of messages out the Will, valid messages that don’t catch on. Valid messages don’t catch on because most people do not understand or don’t see things with the same eye as you. It doesn’t mean your message is unimportant. We always think that just because people don’t flock to us like they flocked to Jesus (or Hitler) that our message is worthless. I gave up believing this a long time ago. I have very few readers at my blog and that’s ok. My message is simply my thoughts, the things I’ve learned through experience. Maybe my message was only meant for four people. I’ve come to pretty much think that if my message carries any validity the people that it is intended for will find their way to my blog. And if that’s only four people (or one person) I’m good with that. Not everybody gets to make a big splash. Some of us are intended to make very tiny splashes, or mere ripples.
Posted at February 13, 2010 on 2:12pm.
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Will at http://willspirit.com
jss–
I agree. It is OK to have a small audience. As is obvious, I have delusions of grandeur from time to time, not to mention dreams of someday earning a living again. But in terms of the message, in my best moments I adopt your attitude and figure that those who would benefit from my ideas will find them. If they don’t find them here, on this blog, then they will find essentially the same concepts on someone else’s site. In the end, there is only one Truth; we are all saying the same thing in different ways.
–Will
Posted at February 14, 2010 on 9:55am.
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Greg Montgomery at http://www.everyminute.organdbpwellness.blogspot.com
Will – You fucking rock, bro. Obviously you’re a well read, brilliant cat that needs to keep on keepin’ on. The highs, the lows. The light vs the dark. I(we) lose sight of our ‘imbalance’ and fall prey to our all too seductive EGO. We need to keep our eyes on the road. Trust your mind and embrace your gift being able to verbalize your experiences. I’m trying to do the same thing on my blog. But then…….The Rut. This is where I struggle, brother.
Retired football player, trying to find his purpose, disgruntled citizen sick of our Fox News society, experienced many epiphanies in the last 6 months, trying to help others.
I’m doing my best to find my niche’, get involved in a non-profit and change the world.
PS – Enough of your’ awe shucks’ disclaimers within your posts. Trust it. Tell people how it is…You’re on the money.
Posted at March 22, 2010 on 4:15pm.
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Will at http://willspirit.com
Greg–
Thanks for the boost! Yes, the ego is the big problem and yes there is what you call The Rut. Luckily, I’m in a good place right now, but as much as I wish it weren’t so, I am sure I will some day sink again. I guess the point is to just keep trying. I’m glad to hear you’ve been having epiphanies, too. Finding a niche is a big problem for me, though I may have figured it out at last. It seems we do share the experience of a major career that ended. Doing a follow-on seems pretty tough. I will probably be writing a bit less for a while. I look forward to checking out your writings.
–Will
Posted at March 23, 2010 on 5:47am.