What would good mental health look like? Would we be happy all the time? Would we be happy sometimes, neutral much of the time, and depressed or anxious just a little? Or would we be exactly as depressed, anxious, or overexcited as we are now, but feel better about it?
It’s good to have a goal in mind. If we want mental peace, we should be ready to know it when we find it. Daniel Siegel defines mental health as integration, which he divides into nine domains. It is worth reading his work (here’s one example), because he offers a well-thought-out perspective on the objective of mental health work.
But a simpler definition might be: “accepting who we are.” If we accept ourselves on the deepest levels, then we no longer hate anything that goes on in our minds. We could be depressed, negative, and discouraged. We could be anxious and biting our nails. We could be flying high, sleeping little, and filled with jagged energy. If we accept our experience, we will not be miserable, no matter how challenging the pain.
This is not to say we should give up trying to be better people. We can always improve in our relationships, in our selflessness, and in our appreciation of life’s miracle.
But if we feel really ‘OK’ with who we are, we will be starting from a place of respect for our situation and ourselves. Working to modulate our actions and thoughts from this solid ground will lead us more quickly to better relationships and better attitudes. By accepting where we are now, we will likely begin to feel less depressed, anxious, and pressured. But we will not be improving our inner mental health, because with true acceptance we will already possess transcendent peace. We will see our angst for what it is: surface agitation. We will know ourselves for who we are: deeply centered beings observing life from the depths of consciousness. We will be at peace, and we will know we are not mentally ill in any meaningful sense of the term.
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1
Michael at http://YourWebsite
Beautifully and gently said. It is time to stop fighting with ourselves.
Posted at April 24, 2010 on 10:00pm.
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markps2 at http://YourWebsite
“We will be at peace, and we will know we are not mentally ill in any meaningful sense of the term.”
Great post! questioning authorities judgement of reality.
Posted at April 26, 2010 on 4:48am.
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Wendy Love at http://depressiongetaway.com
Oh I love the way you put this! It has HOPE written all over it…. Accepting who we are is such a huge challenge for any of us, no matter what we face. Acceptance leads to peace and of course peace is never part of the depression equation, so acceptance would be a wonderful antedote for depression! I like the way you think.
Posted at April 28, 2010 on 5:59am.
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Kat at http://www.LiftMyDepression.com
I like your post and the topic of acceptance. I agree with you. Accepting ‘who we are now’ leads to so many inner transformations: inner peace, end of inner struggle, end of self-blame and guilt to name a few. And it’s a great start to HEALING!
Posted at April 28, 2010 on 8:13am.
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Will at http://willspirit.com
Thank you, everyone, for the kind comments. Acceptance, in its largest sense, underlies Buddhism and arguably many other spiritual systems. What surprises me is not only do I now accept much of what once seemed unacceptable, but I even feel grateful for my trials. The pain of loss and injury pushed me to my limit, and breaking through those barriers led me to a peace I never imagined. If I’d not had so many weighty problems, I’d still be stuck in the cycle of trying to arrange my life to fit my desires. Instead, I now arrange my attitude to match my life. It’s much easier to change one’s mind than it is to change one’s world.
Posted at April 30, 2010 on 8:26am.