My last essay may have been my least favorite ever. Because I’m writing so sporadically here on WillSpirit, the readership has dropped sharply. If the site were still attracting people, I would have removed that last post in light of its negativity. A certain loyal reader of this blog cancelled her subscription because of it. Living as I do in the liberal environment of the San Francisco Bay area, it is easy to forget that half the country likes Dick Cheney and George Bush. My point on this blog has always been to foster emotional growth and wisdom, and I’ve had no interest in engaging politics beyond what directly affects people who struggle with psychiatric conditions. By attacking the former vice president in the context of the Gulf oil apocalypse, I broke one of my cardinal rules.

I’m leaving the essay in place as a reminder to myself that mental circuitry can sometimes arise that works against one’s larger purposes. In fact, such independent entities take over all the time. Why else do we say things we don’t mean, or hurt those we love, or sabotage our chances? We each live with the illusion of being a single, coherent human mind, but in reality the ‘self’ is a chaotic collection of influences that compete for control. One advantage of meditation is that it allows one to begin to see how thoughts, moods, and urges skitter across the interior landscape like tumbleweeds in a gusty and shifting wind. In my better moments I can see when a rogue element is taking over, but sometimes a whole hour can be spent writing something that’s supposed to be inspirational and wise, but is in fact just an opportunistic expression of my frustration with the American political system.

Whether a certain man acted in a certain way and promoted a catastrophe or not, the point I was trying to make ended up coming out by example rather than exposition. The exact tendencies that tempt me to judge and criticize are the same mental movements that allow people to act in ways that go against the common good. We are none of us so virtuous and pure in action that we don’t sometimes act with selfish or hostile motives.

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