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Three decades ago, Douglas Hofstadter wrote his immensely popular and Pulitzer Prize earning book: Godel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid. I never read it, because neither the graphic designs of Escher nor the recursive fugues of Bach resonate with me. Now, after reading Hofstadter’s 2007 book, I Am a Strange Loop, I see that my narrow attitude deprived me of earlier exposure to the work of a remarkable mind (which makes me wonder how often negative and arbitrary judgments have so limited me). Hofstadter proves himself a creative philosopher, an incisive cognitive scientist, and a sensitive person who thinks deeply about our collective human experience.

His thesis in this recent book is that our conscious identity emerges as a consequence of the brain’s capacity to form representations of itself as an active entity in the world (an “I” or self). In this view other species have less developed selves because their capacity for encoding and categorizing experience is limited. But all creatures have selves to whatever extent their nervous systems can recognize and observe their own actions. In principle, a computer system could embody a self if it had sufficient symbolic power and motivational drive.

The concept fits well with my evolving understanding of how my thoughts, words, and actions emerge from a loosely connected group of emotional and cognitive influences. These mental currents arise within a complex nervous system that interacts closely with other beings and the world at large. In meditation it has become increasingly clear to me that these different parts of my mind compete for control, and no single one of them is definitively ‘me’. Yet I do have a sense of self.

Sometimes parts that I admire run things and feelings of satisfaction follow; other times lower influences take over and I feel ashamed. But somewhere behind all of my activities there is an observer who watches my life unfold. This watcher has only limited influence on my actions (though its efficacy as a director improves as I meditate more), and it views my behavior with a bit of detachment. It knows that it should neither get inflated by my better actions, nor be devastated by my flaws. It stands outside the fray, and does not get entangled in my emotions or evaluations.

If I understand correctly, that sense of a self watching a self is what Hofstadter considers the basis of consciousness. There is something deep, resonant, and reflective in this awareness, and it has been a great source of comfort for me to connect and identify with this fount of the soul.

Much could be written about the implications of this view. In particular, although describing the self as a kind of auto-referencing symbolic computer seems pretty materialistic and devoid of heart, in actual fact deep self observation is the surest path to the Sacred. It is the basis of mindfulness, and the key to awakening. Through each one of us the universe can open its eyes, look inward, and recognize its own miracle. All we need to do is quietly observe our experience, and divine awareness arises.

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