Well, someone unsubscribed from my blog yesterday. The last time that happened I had dissed Dick Cheney, and I ended up rethinking my whole approach to blogging. This time, I suspect the problem is that I’m writing every day. My assumption is that someone got sick of seeing WillSpirit clutter on a daily basis. My first thought was to abandon my plan of posting frequent ‘tips’, but then I realized it’s easy enough for those who don’t like to see WillSpirit in their inbox to unsubscribe. I also considered that since the readership is almost nil anyway, if I’m bothering people I’m not bothering very many people. In short, it seems like whether I write daily or monthly seems mostly a question of what’s best for me, not what others might or might not like.
Then I took the next step, and recognized that there is no way of knowing why the ‘unsubscribe’ notice came in. The person is a stranger and left no message. So acting on a presumption of his or her motive would be truly silly.
Which brings me to my tip for today, borrowed from The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz: “Don’t Make Assumptions.” Ruiz’s third agreement makes great sense. I’m far more likely to guess wrong than to accurately understand why others do what they do. What’s more, guesses often reflect my own neurosis more than reality. Better to either seek clarification or stay the course.
I recommend reading and following The Four Agreements. For today, I’m taking Ruiz’s advice by not assuming I know why a member of my tiny audience chose to depart. Which means as long as there’s enough time in my day, I’ll keep posting regular tips for Peace, Balance & Clarity. Communicating these tips helps me remember to do what works, so I’ll keep writing. And I’ll try to stop assuming.
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lostinamaze at http://inamaze.wordpress.com
I have been learning lately in my therapy sessions that I actually assume a lot. I tend to assume what my therapist is thinking about about me or I assume a certain statement she has made means something that she didn’t intend it to mean. And lately she has been calling me on it instead of letting it slide. It’s interesting because I don’t like it when people assume and yet here I am doing the same thing. It’s certainly is easy to do and not be aware of it.
I really like what you have written in your third paragraph. I think that I will write it out for myself if that’s OK.
Posted at July 22, 2010 on 9:33am.
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Will at http://willspirit.com
Lostinamaze–
It would probably be a good practice to try to catch all of one’s assumptions in a given day. Like you say, we assume quite easily with absolutely no awareness. Feel free to use what I wrote in any way. Thanks for the comment.
–Will
Posted at July 23, 2010 on 7:14am.