Panic is easy. Calm, not so much.
That’s my personal experience, which may or may not hold for others. My recent belief that my email account had been hacked is a minor but definite example of my tendency to over-react. A message touting a pharmaceutical product came into my mailbox, with one of my own return addresses on it. It happens that I currently have a number of email accounts, and I didn’t see right away that the account receiving the message was the same that apparently sent it. I dove into action. Sent out my apology to my subscribers, contacted the web hosting company, changed all my passwords, etc. I almost closed down my FeedBurner subscription service, thinking that my subscriber list and address were being used to pump out spam.
It would have been so easy to slow down, and wait to act until I was sure about the situation. There was no need to take drastic steps right away. Change the passwords, see what happened. Instead, I acted immediately.
No doubt this reactivity relates to the chaos in my household of origin. But I also think it comes from our culture, with its endemic anxiety and demands for speed. Instant results are expected in every sphere. Long term and collateral effects are seldom seriously considered in either government or business circles. Corporations choose policy based on quarterly income reports, with little regard for the far future. People get fired and policies radically altered in response to financial fluctuations that may or may not have been preventable.
It’s a cauldron of stress, and those of us with reactive natures must take extra care to avoid getting sucked into the rolling boil of chaos. There is seldom a need for instant action. Short of an impending car crash or like catastrophe, it is almost always better to wait before making big decisions. Or even small ones. Have you ever sent an email that you later wished you had delayed and pondered?
Calm is an essential nutrient in human life. It is an ingredient in very short supply in this modern world. We have an obligation to ourselves and those who will follow us on this earth to slow down and make decisions that aren’t rushed or expedient. Slow, deep breaths. Relaxed, supple muscles. Smiles. Peace. Calm.
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Pam at http://social-discomfort.com
I think the tendency toward panic is more basic than culture and household of origin, though it can certainly be exacerbated by those things. Panic is a signal to us that we need to act, an automatic reaction, while calm is a conscious decision we have to make AFTER the initial panic. Evolutionarily, action was usually required immediately, so the panic-to-action loop made perfect sense. Now, our biology needs to catch up to our culture; immediate action is rarely the best route anymore. We have to learn to be calm when our bodies are telling us otherwise.
I think we also get a bit of a high from the initial panic, and our action helps to keep the high alive.
Great post! Very thought provoking.
Posted at September 1, 2010 on 1:07pm.
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Trish Austin at http://www.onenewbrainplease.blogspot.com
Oh! I couldn’t agree more that our culture is riddled with the faster the better mentality. And, aside from a car crash etc., there’s no need for instant reaction or panic. However, easier said than done for people like me who have lived unknowingly for years in the fight or flight mode. Now, I can achieve calm. Comparative to how I was 15 years ago. But, every night as I lay to relax and go to bed(must listen to cd of calming music or my brain will never shut off) I feel all the tension in my leg muscles etc. and am so surprised that I have that much tension in my body. One reason, to begin my working out regime again. Signed up/ready to go Sept. 13..
But, your post serves as a great reminder to me to slow down. Wait, what am I talking about? I could be a lot calmer if I didn’t have an 18 yr. old and a 7 yr. old…I’m 45 for crying out loud. I think I was in a state of panic when I decided to have a baby at 38!
Posted at September 1, 2010 on 7:51pm.
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Will at http://willspirit.com
Trish–
No doubt life is more chaotic for parents. But it is always possible to be a little more peaceful, even if it’s just a change from utter to subtle panic. Calm is always relative. There is no absolute calm (unless you count death), just one state more at ease than another. The goal is to make progress toward greater and greater peace of mind. It may be that one could be too serene in life, but I don’t think anyone in this culture is in danger of it.
–Will
Posted at September 1, 2010 on 9:26pm.
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Will at http://willspirit.com
Pam–
Sorry to have not responded sooner; your comment got trapped by my spam filter and I only just saw it. Interestingly, I’d written a post in the interim on my PsychCentral blog that touches on some of the same points you make. You’ll see that I said more or less the same thing about the poor fit between our biology and what’s appropriate in the modern world.
Your point about the high of panic is quite well taken. Thanks for the comment.
–Will
Posted at September 3, 2010 on 4:06pm.