| We all keep a picture in mind
| Of who we are
| It smiles at us, or frowns
| Facing us down
| Cheering us up
| Framed by inspiration and integrity
| Shadowed by craving and cowardice
|
| Or maybe somewhere in the mental box
| There’s an album of identities
| All the self-portraits we paint
| For ourselves and
| The ones we show others
| The best centered perfectly on the mantle
| The worst burning in the hearth below
|
| I remember
| The day someone challenged me
| To think of God
| Well, I couldn’t
| I hadn’t been raised that way
| But I could think of Nature
|
| And it made sense to find reason to live
| Better than teetering on the ledge of the bell tower
| Contemplating a fall from grace
|
| And in that moment I pictured myself
| Poised on the precipice
| Like a bristlecone pine
| Still alive after thousands of years
|
| Twisted by gales
| Flattened by drifts
| Stunted by thin, unyielding soil
|
| I saw myself
| Broken yet beautiful
| Deformed but sculptural
|
| Doing my best
| Like all Nature’s creatures
|
| The picture came alive and it still smiles, crookedly
| Above my small fire
| Tentative, intrepid, enduring.
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Nice – sweet – touching – vivid! love the image of the Bristlecone Pine Tree!! “Broken, yet beautiful” Thanks!! Let’s go hang out with those magnificent creatures next summer in the White Mountains!!
Reminds me of this saying from unknown -
“He told me one time he forgot himself and his heart opened up like a door with a loose latch and he tried for days to put it all back in proper order… but finally he gave up and left it all jumbled up there in a pile and loved everything equally.”
Thanks Dave. That’s a beautiful saying. As for bristlecone’s, the poem isn’t exaggerating. I first imagined myself with their help back in 1987, upon first entry into AA and first being told I needed a ‘higher power.’ As you know, I’ve found ways to incorporate spiritual feelings into my worldview, but back then I was stymied. But seeing myself as similar to an ancient pine came naturally. A trip to visit them would be great. I’m on board for it!
–Will
Love
Jen–
Thanks!
–Will
You have a beautiful soul and words
You show empathy,thoughtfulness and understand
A fellow survivor
Thank you, Susan. Your comment comes in on a day when I’m contemplating a resumption of blogging after a long lapse. The encouragement helps.