WillSpirit!

Where Will meets Spirit
∞ Love, Clarity, Balance, Peace, & Bliss ∞

A science, mental health and spirituality blog written by a physician.








  • Red_Exclamation_DotDisclaimer
    • Dear Visitors:
      Although I trained and practiced as a physician, my background does not include formal instruction in psychiatry beyond basic medical education. This journal presents ideas about treatment philosophy, but must not be considered therapeutic advice. Abrupt changes in one's psychiatric medications can trigger profound cognitive, emotional, and physical symptoms, including suicidal thoughts and actions. Consequently, pharmaceutical agents should not be increased or decreased without supervision by a mental health clinician.

    • ON THE OTHER HAND, your brain belongs to you, and your opinion counts. If you decide that changing your medication regimen will serve your best interest, then I believe your providers have an obligation to help you try to achieve your goals. I want everyone to be educated about their options, and do what will be most helpful for themselves. No one should feel pushed around by dogmatic and/or limited viewpoints, whether those of psychiatrists, anti-psychiatry advocates, or myself.


Pity the Deluded Psychiatrist?

Duane Sherry, an online friend, frequent commentator, and creator of the valuable site Discover and Recover, alerted me to a discussion sparked by a comment of mine on another site. The blogger who wrote in response to my story calls himself 1 Boring Old Man, and is a psychiatrist who criticizes his field.

My contribution was nothing more than the saga regular readers here already know: after neck disease ended my surgical career, I suffered major mental health problems and then even worse difficulties caused by psychiatric drugs.

These days I don’t write so much about psychopharmaceuticals, their marketing, or their toxicity. But in the past these topics occupied many blog posts. Even so, I’ve never been much of an anti-psychiatry activist.

There are reasons for my low profile in this debate. For one thing, I’m more interested in highlighting tools that can help us safely achieve mental wellness than in dwelling on treatments that can’t. More important in the present context is the fact that justifiable anger about psychiatric drugs too often gets expressed as attacks on psychiatrists. Such contempt, bordering on hatred, sounds to me both unhealthy and unproductive. Some of the responses to the 1 Boring Old Man discussion remind me of this troubling trend.

Maybe such language bothers me because I’m a physician myself. Even though I no longer practice Western medicine (I administer acupuncture to alleviate emotional and physical pain), I spent many years among conventional doctors and learned to understand them. There is no denying they can be arrogant and insensitive, but most started their careers with the best of intentions and strong callings to help. Psychiatrists of my era were trained during a period of great optimism about brain science. Although it was relatively new at the time, the assumption that mental conditions were due to diseased nervous systems (as opposed to unconscious conflict or problematic upbringing) was unquestioned in residency programs. Drugs given for psychiatric problems often conferred dramatic short term benefit. When first administered (before the side effects accumulated), they looked like miracle cures.

And of course there was the tsunami of pharmaceutical marketing, which promised a revolution in mental health care based on what looked like impressive research. To give you a sense of the naivety common among doctors, take a closer look at my own case. When I started taking potent psychiatric drugs and was confronted with lengthy warning labels, I refused to read them. I assumed the medications wouldn’t be allowed to reach market if they weren’t proven effective and basically safe. It seems so stupid in retrospect, but my training instilled in me solid faith in the medical system. It was only as I became obese, mentally clouded, hormonally impaired, sexually dysfunctional, and diabetic that my trust began to waver.

These complications were happening in my own body, not someone else’s, so they hit home in a powerful way. To the average psychiatrist, watching patients develop such side effects may have been troubling, but rather easy to write off since the suffering wasn’t personal. Yes, doctors should have been more compassionate, but they believed the drugs essential to wellbeing. The accepted wisdom was that mental disorders were so awful that bodily deterioration represented a reasonable trade-off.

My goal here isn’t to make excuses, but to point out that psychiatrists are human like everyone else. They are just as susceptible to delusions as are their patients. Like all of us, they can easily blind themselves to what Al Gore would call inconvenient truths.

They should change. They must. But my goal is to help us all find reliable paths toward health. To promote better methods, we must publicize the fact that medications are dangerous and ultimately ineffective. But the people who most need to hear such information are the psychiatrists, and they won’t listen if they hear hatred.

Although to speak out and agitate for change is vital, accusing psychiatrists of being soulless monsters is both wrong and counterproductive. Doctors are far more likely to change if their critics look rational, open-minded, and kind than if they sound unreasonable and blinded by anger. If psychiatrists hear venomous attacks rather than reasonable appeals, they will simply harden their views. That is human nature.

The real monster in this story is capitalism. In my opinion it’s nearly always an evil, but it’s especially destructive when serving as the driving force behind health care. The inevitable result of developing psychiatric treatments with a market mentality is that profit becomes the over-riding value: not healing, not safety, not compassion, but the bottom line.

The capitalist system, the governments that serve it, and the health care systems developed by it, have been built by people but are not people. Let us direct our contempt at the structures directly responsible for harm, and then help those trapped and deluded by capitalist values and marketing learn the error of their ways. This means speaking the truth firmly and loudly, but also rationally and calmly. It means minimizing accusations about past behavior (although we must be clear about the historical facts that led to the current disaster in undermined mental health care), and concentrating on gathering support for future improvement.

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New Direction

Acupuncture_chart_300px

You may have noticed my posts have been slow in coming lately. The good news is I’ve decided to pursue a new career direction: using acupuncture for mental health issues. Acupuncture has been a mainstay of my recovery. By itself it would not have been enough, but as a regular refuge where I can recharge and rebalance it has been invaluable. Since licensed physicians can train to practice the technique in a relatively short time, it is a great way for me to get back to clinical work without the inconceivable stress and difficulty of finding and completing a residency in a more traditional discipline. I’m tremendously excited. It will be less visible work than writing, but it will provide far more security. And being a doctor again means more to me than I’ve been willing to admit.

The bad news is I will have less time for writing. I will try to keep posting, but the essays will be less frequent. They may also be shorter, but that may turn out to be an improvement. I tend to underrate the value of brevity.

For today, I’m posting a piece I wrote for Hopeworks Community. Larry Drain is a prolific writer and activist in the mental health field, and he invited guest posts for his blog. Here’s mine:

This is my story of recovery from severe depression, and my message is one of hope. On the one hand, I doubt many people have experienced longer lasting or more severe depression than me (though a multitude have it just as bad). On the other, I have found my way to a place of contentment and steadiness that I never dreamt possible.

Although depression has dogged me for most of my adult life, my mood reached new lows after I lost my surgical career to severe arthritis in my neck. My spirits were especially crushed because the loss of occupation brought up lingering self-doubts left over from a highly traumatic childhood.

In recovering, I tried every type of therapy and group program that promised to assist me with my problems. These methods helped me improve my thought patterns, accept the present moment, and find spiritual peace. To my delight and surprise, I am often happy. Although I still get depressed from time to time, my spiritual centering and acceptance work have taught me that grief and sadness are as important and rich as happiness; I would not want to miss the textured sense of connection with tragedy. Whether happy or sad, I am at peace with my mind and my history.

Medications played a big role at first, but they ultimately turned on me. Under the direction of a psychiatrist whose only tools were drugs and endless exploration of my childhood, I spent five years heavily sedated and unable to function productively. After horrible side effects threatened to lower my self esteem even more, I switched to another care system and have spent recent years reducing an oppressive cocktail of medications. Perhaps I needed to escape into a medicated haze for several years, but when the drugs were reduced my grief awaited me, and I still had to deal with feelings about my losses. I learned there is no way to sidestep mourning.

During the past decade I’ve tried many times to build a new career. False starts and rejections added to my burden, until I gave in and accepted permanent retirement from defined employment. Then, after I finally felt at peace with not working, I discovered a career direction that makes sense. The operative concept is acceptance. Once I quit fighting my fear of being seen as unproductive, and once I learned to keep busy and avoid boredom, my mind opened to a new possibility. I had to accept what I feared before moving past it.

I have learned that there is no single answer to depression or other mental health issues. Medications may help, but they do not magically take away the problem. Acceptance is vital, but by itself is insufficient. One needs to learn to think without fostering depression, but that alone won’t end the sadness. Exercise, meditation, group work, writing, good nutrition, and regular sleep all need to be considered. With a comprehensive approach, recovery is possible.

It takes effort and time. If you are suffering from depression, you will need to both work hard and remain patient. You may also need to learn to live with some low feelings. But knowing how much I’ve improved despite years of despair, I suspect that no matter how depressed you may feel, you can find peace.

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