WillSpirit!

Where Will meets Spirit
∞ Love, Clarity, Balance, Peace, & Bliss ∞

A science, mental health and spirituality blog written by a physician.








  • Red_Exclamation_DotDisclaimer
    • Dear Visitors:
      Although I trained and practiced as a physician, my background does not include formal instruction in psychiatry beyond basic medical education. This journal presents ideas about treatment philosophy, but must not be considered therapeutic advice. Abrupt changes in one's psychiatric medications can trigger profound cognitive, emotional, and physical symptoms, including suicidal thoughts and actions. Consequently, pharmaceutical agents should not be increased or decreased without supervision by a mental health clinician.

    • ON THE OTHER HAND, your brain belongs to you, and your opinion counts. If you decide that changing your medication regimen will serve your best interest, then I believe your providers have an obligation to help you try to achieve your goals. I want everyone to be educated about their options, and do what will be most helpful for themselves. No one should feel pushed around by dogmatic and/or limited viewpoints, whether those of psychiatrists, anti-psychiatry advocates, or myself.


Prepare for the prodigal’s return

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The California Academy of Sciences moved into its state-of-the-art museum and research facility almost exactly a year ago. My training as a docent was conducted in their temporary location near the financial district of San Francisco, in a set-up which I actually liked better than this impressive and environmentally responsible new structure. The designers had made the interim setting look a bit like the laboratory of a nineteenth century naturalist: varnished oak cabinets fronted by glass, exuberant displays of furred and feathered taxidermy next to boxes of crystal-encrusted rocks, and row after row of walnut-colored beetles the size of mice. Every specimen had a neat, penciled label gone sepia with age.

The new place is all steel and glass and concrete, topped by a ‘living roof’ comprised of an undulating carpet of native regional grasses. The broad awnings hold 60,000 photovoltaic cells. There is no traditional HVAC system; instead, the windows actually open. Award-winning and impressive, it no doubt helps the Academy move forward into the third millennium as a significant environmental research organization. But I miss the decorating style of Darwin’s day, when naturalists bragged about the number of ‘specimens’ they collected (read, organisms they killed and mounted). Not that I applaud the wanton destruction of life, just that there was something organic, musty, and mysterious that has since been lost. It almost seems as if, in an effort to compete with the sophisticated equipment and terminology of molecular biology and genomics, ‘natural history’ is editing out the dirt and repackaging itself as another gleaming, sterile technology.

Hopefully, this will help the scientific mission and mandate to rescue the planet from ongoing ecological rape. Perhaps the makeover will convince young women and men to enter the field, by making environmental science look cutting edge, computerized, and cash-rich. Still, I can’t help but feel like a steel and glass partition has been built that separates humans from nature. As a kid, when I went to science museums, it was the dark earthiness of the places that drew me in. The dim lighting needed to protect the exhibits, the smells of soil and fur tinged with formalin, and the sprawling display cabinets filled with dead things all spoke to me on some biotic wavelength that gets blocked by the flashy and hygienic new paradigm.

When the emphasis rested on dead specimens, the implication was: ‘there is such an endless profusion of life out there we can afford to kill hundreds of creatures to show it to you.’ Obviously, that lie has been exposed as a dangerous illusion many times over. But now the message has become, “here are a few living creatures that you can look at in a gigantic display case, but if we don’t do something soon this will be the only place these organisms will survive.’ A much more accurate and socially responsible communication, but it is also ineffably sad. Life has gone from seeming fecund and unstoppable, to something weak and in need of our help.

Life on earth is not weak. And it is not the earth that needs assistance, it is the human race. In fifty million years, chances are very good that humans will be extinct. After another fifty, life will be as luxuriant and diverse and breathtaking as it was a mere thousand years ago, before people began leaving widespread technological footprints on the planet. Flora and fauna will recover. What we risk is not life on earth, but the human spirit. We evolved in an ecological web of soil, and sun, and plants, and prey, and predators. The homo sapien heart has not forgotten this. The further we push the natural world out of our experience, whether by destroying it or simply staying indoors, the more lifeless our lives become, bereft of the inexpressible majesty we all recognize in the tiniest buttercup flower. By packaging nature in steel and glass, we are actually locking ourselves in the display case. We think we are free, looking at precious organisms carefully tended by automated climate control. But in fact, we are the ones under lock and key. Life just keeps evolving, and growing, and pollinating, and copulating, and dying, and rotting, and germinating, and giving birth. While we live in concrete boxes and eat microwave popcorn.

This blog has the tagline ‘Where Will meets Spirit’. Our human ‘will’ has brought us to this point. We have bent the forces of nature to serve our desires. But like anything that gets bent, those same influences patiently await the day they will snap back to their native form. Parts of the natural world will be irreparably broken before that happens, it appears. But the momentum of life is stronger, and older, than the human trajectory through earth’s history. Nature cannot be held back forever.

If you put a small number of bacteria on a fresh petri dish, at first the population will multiply and spread at an alarming rate. But the petri dish, like the earth, is a closed system. Sooner or later the bacteria deplete the resources, or a viral pathogen comes in, or some other counterbalancing influence stems the rate of population growth. Ultimately, the numbers crash, until once again the dish holds only a small number of living bacteria. Or none. Humanity sits on the steep upward ascent of the population trajectory. But most of us recognize that the tide must turn, the growth rate will slow, and in all likelihood a catastrophic drop in numbers will be suffered. Many scientists expect global diseases to strike and cause this, but famine or world nuclear war are other possibilities. Even more likely is a combination of influences leading to a sharp drop in the burden of humanity on the globe.

Nature will reassert itself, one way or the other.

Auguste Rodin: The Prodigal Son

In the same way that our global society is attempting (futilely) to crush and control the forces of life, it is also working hard to stifle the human spirit. We are enslaved by a cold and rational mindset that denies the importance of emotion and instinct. By locking the human mind into analytical modes, and trying to devalue or even ridicule sensitivity and feelings, those who profit from the current set-up attempt to guarantee their ascendancy. But by endeavoring to reign in the human pneuma, they are actually enclosing themselves in glass. Those of us whose emotional make-up does not permit us to live in a detached and predictable way remain free. We breathe more deeply, and live more richly out here in the fertile valleys, where moist, black soil is underfoot, and unruly vines cover everything.

We are told that because of mental ‘illness’, we are closed off from the ‘healthy’ condition of stability and dispassion. But like the viewers in the new museum, who eat candy as they look at terrariums, it is those in the hermetic glass houses who are trapped. The rest of us are free to experience the currents of stirring, lush, and earthy emotions. We remain more in touch with the human spirit, and by extension the essence of life on earth, than those who think emotions are atavistic and superfluous, like an appendix. Feelings are not an almost purposeless add-on, prone to abscess and treatable by excision. They are the heart of the human experience, and (for that matter) the human body.

We are the future. Sooner or later the poverty of denying the value and inevitability of emotionalism will be as obvious as the short-sighted stupidity of not living hand in hand with nature. The human spirit may stay bent for a long time, but eventually the organic forces in our hearts will assert themselves, restoring the balance. Let us recognize that we are the ones who have stayed close to our ancestral home, and be ready to welcome the wayward children back to the land.

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Bringing things together

This post is actually the About writeup that I put on my website the first day. It explores why WillSpirit seemed appropriate as a blog name. What I think this blog is ‘about’ changes regularly, so this old piece needs to go somewhere else. Placing it at the head of my blog entries will preserve it as part of my archives and also provide a useful introduction to anyone who wants to start at the beginning and read through. The piece shows my initial concepts, which have since evolved. I continue, for instance, to work on the connection between spirit and feelings. The word spirit sometimes has the connotation soul, and that is not what I meant in this first entry. At that time, I was aware that what seems like our soul is sometimes just our feeling side influencing us in its usual subtle and nonverbal way. That is why I thought the word spirit to be an apt counterpart to will. But as time has passed my attitudes have changed and I’ve explored spirit and soulfulness from other angles, including metaphysical ones. In any event, spirit has multiple usages. Consider: “she is in fine spirits today!” and: “he is such a spirited boy!”  Both show our automatic connection of spirit with emotion.

With that as background, here is what I wrote as my initial musing:

The idea, so far, is to explore how to bring our thinking selves and our feeling selves into harmony. The thinking self (what I call the WILL) works with abstraction of sensory information, logic, and words. It constructs models of reality and then makes decisions based on its interpretation of those constructions. Its decision making style is best described as analytical. The feeling self (I call it the SPIRIT, for reasons that I’ll explain at some later time) uses feelings, emotional logic, and symbols to interpret reality on a moment-to-moment basis, and then makes choices based on a synthesis of what it understands about the current internal and external states. Its decisions are often called ‘intuitive’. 

Both the will and the spirit have value. We make the best decisions, and feel the best, when both are active. Unfortunately, that seems to be a hard balance to achieve. Because our society has historically valued analytical as opposed to intuitive reasoning, the will tends to be overvalued. It often believes it is the only part of the mind that matters. It also has a thing about control, and seems to have trouble with the ‘big picture’. As a result, it often refuses to accept that it must share decision making with the spirit. In fact, it is not uncommon for the will to deny the existence of the spirit altogether. It values things that are ‘right’ (as opposed to ‘wrong’) and ‘true’ (and not ‘false’). It sees things in black and white. 

The spirit, for its part, is fully aware of the will. It just doesn’t take it seriously. It believes analysis to be shallow and unable to capture what really matters in life. Because it operates on moment-to-moment feelings, it has a hard time projecting into the future, and seeing long term consequences. The spirit emphasizes love and altruism. It knows that black and white are abstractions, and sees situations in shades of gray. Even better, it knows color. 

One problem with this work is the tendency to make value judgements. The will is a newer part of the brain. It has specific skills, but it is not fundamentally who we are. This does not make it bad, however. It just means we have to recognize it for its true nature, and make use of it without identifying too closely with it. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) has appeared in the psychotherapy world within the past few years. It is based on the premise that we need to detach from our thinking. It is worth exploring. Here is one link to get you started.

It is tempting to equate the will and the spirit with the left and the right brain, respectively. The right brain does seem to have a more symbolic and intuitive style, and the left brain a more analytical and verbal one. However, it is not necessarily helpful to make that anatomical connection, even if it is valid. We do not experience our brains as divided in half down the middle. Instead we recognize shifting influences within ourselves that roughly fall into these two categories. 

The point of this website is to explore how to harmonize the forces within, for the good of ourselves, our communities, and our planet. We need the will to be directive and defined, and we need the spirit to be creative and flexible. I believe the battle between these two parts of ourselves (you might call them subroutines, to cautiously use a computer analogy) causes much of the discord on this planet. Until the will listens to the spirit, and the spirit goes along with the will, we will remain confused, angry, and looking for someone to blame for our internal frustration and unhappiness. 

I hope to explore these issues in my writing, and in exploring like-minded communities and resources. So here I am, just getting started, trying it out.

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