The Problem Isn’t Neural, It’s Spiritual

“You’re taking a lot of garbage.” Those words, spoken to me by a psychiatrist newly evaluating my case, changed my life. At the time I was on two antidepressants, two mood stabilizers, and an atypical antipsychotic. I had also been … Continue reading

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Opening, Revisited

For years I’ve suffered abdominal pain and fatigue, which in recent months have been getting worse. The pain, at least, is traceable to a vascular anomaly near my pancreas. Surgery could correct this faulty pattern of blood flow. Since the … Continue reading

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Ahimsa

Fourteen years ago my mind broke, though I prefer to say it broke open. In my nearly five hundred WillSpirit essays, I’ve often discussed that mental shattering. As its fourteenth anniversary approaches, I find myself living the consequences in the … Continue reading

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Sweet Favors

Of late, poetry has been occupying me more than blogging, a shift which started with some intense work around an application for a writing fellowship. In my entire life there’ve only been a few times I have applied myself with … Continue reading

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Love Thy Enemy

Is ‘love’ a noun or a verb? This isn’t a grammatical question, since the word can function as both. But in personal experience, does love feel like a noun, a substance given, or like a verb, an act performed? If … Continue reading

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Letter from the Brink of Sanity

How to tell a story that has no beginning and no end? A tale that was ongoing before you were born and continues to this day? Choose an episode that pressed your first footprints on some new path. Like the … Continue reading

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Freedom’s Just Another Word

Passionate, self-destructive women have always interested me. As a young man I felt drawn to the poetry of Anne Sexton. Even earlier, as a teenager, I felt passionate about the music of (the already deceased) Janis Joplin. This attraction likely … Continue reading

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The Watcher

In writings about Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), mindfulness, and other subjects, the concept of the watcher comes up often. The terms vary; other names for this entity include the observer, the true self, and simply consciousness. Quakers call it … Continue reading

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Pain Killer

One topic I haven’t written about, in my obsessions with child abuse and psychopharmaceutical malfeasance, is physical pain. Back in my days as a surgeon, so very long ago, my neck developed ruptured discs, bone spurs, and all manner of … Continue reading

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